The Ghost of Campus Living Past


Every year at Lewis and Clark, 50 or so RAs get together and form new staff teams, and begin the work of the year anew.

Or so the story goes.

In reality, there is always a ghost of last year haunting behind the wings. Returning RAs see it everywhere they go. New RAs walk around getting an eerie feeling that there is something someone is not telling them. Who knows what ADs see anymore.

I remember being a little frustrated as a new RA. I couldn’t understand the divide between myself and the returning RAs.  Some of them seemed bored during training, or just a little ‘over it.’ I felt a little patronized by their reassurances; ‘don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine.’ Weren’t they about to undertake new things themselves? Who would REALLY claim to have mastered community building, crisis management, personal development, and peer counseling as a twenty-something? Why didn’t they seem to be treating me as an equal? And most of all, why didn’t they seem to want to get to know me?

Later on, I remember having frustrations with teammates who were really hard to get to know because they were clearly not over their last staff team.

Now I’m a third year RA, and I’m struggling myself. Training starts in two weeks, and I can see these same tendencies I resisted as a new RA in myself.  It’s not that I’ve learned it all, but I’ve spent so much time thinking about these issues, that a two hour power-point might not be what I need to grow the way it was when I first began. More than that, I have to admit; I have a staff team I’m not over.

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Those 10 people on my staff team taught me so much–I trust them more than almost anyone in the universe. I can’t find a way to describe what they mean to me without using the word family. It’s hard not to see training as a time when we can all be ‘back together again.’ I know that when I’m in that room with many of my favorite people it will be difficult to give my new teammates the attention and the presence that they deserve.

New RAs, you deserve to be taken seriously and to be received with emotionally open arms. But, just in case you aren’t, please, don’t take it personally. I know I’ll be trying my hardest, but I also know that I have had amazing experiences this last year; I had a year full of team love, adventure, and growth, and it is taking a little time for me to accept that a change has occurred. Sometimes we need to grieve the small things too.

But my team stands as living proof that sometimes, the journey has incredible things in store for us that we cannot anticipate. Right now, life-changing possibilities are open to me, if only I can remain open to them.  My former team is no longer together, but we are still a family. We’re just a growing family.

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